I’m laying in bed.
I have to be up in six hours.
I can’t sleep.
I toss, I turn, I try everything possible to fall asleep and I can’t. My mind is racing. Thinking about things I should’ve done. Thinking about things I shouldn’t have done. Thinking about things I can’t control. Each what if thought creates ten more. It’s never ending.
I wish that when I went to sleep, and I turned off my light or my tv for the night, my brain would just shut off with it. Complete darkness. No thoughts or sounds. No distractions. I’d be able to sleep peacefully.
Instead I lay here thinking about a snapchat I sent last Tuesday, or the text message I should be sending right now, but I’m not. The snowball effect that these thoughts have keep me awake for hours. I’ll over analyze the most insane scenarios as actual possibilities. I’ll stress myself out over nothing.
I can’t stop.
I don’t know how to stop.
I try to write these blogs as a constructive way to get all of these thoughts out of my head. I don’t know if they help or not, but I’d like to think they do. If nothing else they at least pass the time until I finally fall asleep. 💤