I’m laying here in bed watching Sunday Night Football when it hits me. This needs to stop. I’m always some form of upset, whether its anger or sadness. I can’t do it anymore. I need to just move on. I can’t let it bother me anymore. I don’t exactly know how I’m going to pull this off but I’m going to try my hardest. It’s time I get my ass in gear. I’m really going to try to get my fat ass in some sort of shape, maybe try eating a vegetable or two as well. Maybe I’ll feel better about myself then. I’ve come to the realization that no one wants to be around or with someone whose always miserable. Sure, it may not be entirely my fault but it comes to a point when its enough. I want to look back on this point and time of my life and remember good things. I want to remember good times I had with my friends doing god knows what, getting into all kinds of trouble. I don’t want to look back on this time and realize it was all wasted. I don’t want to look back at this 5 or 10 years from now and think what if I did that, or how come I didn’t do that. I’ve been pissing around long enough and its time to get in gear. I don’t know what I’m going to do to fill my time that I just lay around in self pity. Part of it can be going to the gym, but there is a lot of empty space to fill. I’m trying to get myself to go to as many concerts as possible. Sure, it will get expensive, but distracting my mind from all of the negativity in my life for a few hours at a show might be just what I need.
I realize this post is all over the place, but bare with me. I’m just typing this as I think of it. It’s kind of hard to concentrate when I’m watching my fantasy football team go down in flames. It looks more and more like school is becoming an option again. I don’t have any idea what I’m going to do, but it’s better than not going I suppose. Worst case scenario it will be another time filler. I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do, and how I”m going to achieve this goal of not being miserable, but I’m going to try, at least for a day, until like everything else I do, I give up. Anywho, I’m feeling pretty motivated right now, and hopefully it stays that way. I really hope whoever reads this, if anyone reads this, is behind me, and maybe even helps motivate me as well. I need all the help I can get.